For those who have learned that love and safety are conditional, the new year can be triggering. The message is clear: To be loved and accepted, you have to be better. Be compliant. Do not need so much. Basically, who you are is not enough. To be loved, you have to be perfect. That is why rigid resolutions often collapse by February. Not because of a lack of willpower, but because change driven by shame rarely works.
The new wellness is not constant repair, but constant care. Compassion. Joy. Appreciation for what currently exists even as any intentional changes continue to unfold. The last several years have already been a time of refining, unlearning, and becoming for myself and many of us. Not arriving. Not fixing. Just existing within the process rather than being exclusively focused on the destination and ignoring, well, life.
My resolution next year is to climb a tough peak in the Chamonix Valley in France. The 'why' is because it's been on my list for 15 years, and it's overdue. The 'how' is a detailed set of logistical, physical, mental, and family preparations.