Miss Manners: I don't mind questions about my hair, except these two

"I went gray at an exceedingly young age my mother noticed my first gray hair when I was in preschool. By the time I was in my early 20s, my hair was mostly gray. I've embraced it and learned to love it, and am happy to answer the questions I get typically whether it's natural, when I started going gray, and does anyone else in my family have premature gray hair."

"I am also not sick, which I don't think is anyone's business, provided I'm not contagious (and I assume I'm not, as nobody around me has caught my gray hair). What would be the best way to respond here? GENTLE READER: Yes to the first question and no to the second. In responding to the second, it may be difficult to resist adding, Why? Is there something wrong with you? [That was a familiar question. Miss Manners was a little snarkier last time.]"

One correspondent describes going gray at an exceedingly young age, having most hair gray by the early 20s, and embracing the appearance. The correspondent reports routinely answering questions about when the graying began and family history, but finds two questions particularly rankling: "Did you know you have gray hair?" and "Is there something wrong with you, like a disease or disorder?" The correspondent asserts awareness of the hair color and affirms not being ill, and asks for the best way to respond to such intrusive queries. The etiquette response recommends brief, direct replies: confirm awareness and deny illness, and suggests challenging the intrusiveness by returning the question. A separate correspondent describes preparing ready-to-bake meals for visiting out-of-town friends, accepting an invitation to dine at an expensive restaurant during an overnight visit, and each couple handling separate checks; the account ends before later events are revealed.

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