
Self-pity drags individuals into the past, fuels whining, and fosters beliefs that life has never been and never will be happy. Self-compassion is experienced in the present while acknowledging past pain and offers understanding, support, and outward-directed energy. Practicing self-compassion builds the skill to face life's struggles, take responsibility, and find hope. Therapies that over-focus on past hurt can hinder the ability to stop defining oneself by past events. Clinically depressed people may experience self-pity as part of pervasive negative thoughts, which reduce engagement with others and make moving forward difficult. Courage and active coping enable healthy progression.
"Self-pity can drag you back into the past, whereas self-compassion is felt in the present but about the past. Bucking up or acting as if you're fine doesn't involve self-compassion; it merely camouflages pain. Practicing self-compassion can help you build the skill of dealing with life's struggles and finding hope. It's difficult to be around someone who tends to whine."
""I can't get a break." "Wow, you're lucky. My kids never call. Must be nice." "My ex took my best years, and I'll never get them back." Whining reflects self-pity or believing your life has never been happyand never will be. Yet the irony is, your self-pity can easily prevent you from taking responsibility for your own life or realizing what you're capable of doing. And that's moving on."
"Self-compassion extends understanding and support. Self-pity can keep you in blame and rumination. Self-compassion's energy extends outward, seeing your past self from today's perspective. Self-pity's energy is historically implosive and can lead you into feeling there's no escape from your past. Self-compassion can lead you into a renewed sense of your ability to handle life. Self-pity can paralyze you and cause doubt that you have the ability to handle life."
Read at www.psychologytoday.com
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