"Many people engage in thoughts that focus on someone who hurt them. It may be a relational partner who lacked honesty, or a betrayal from a trusted friend, or a parent who failed at responsibilities. We may hold a ledger where we are conscious of how we have been treated, and how we will respond. For many of us, the idea of forgiveness offends our sense of justice and we refuse to let go of anger."
"We mistakenly believe that the absence of being asked to be forgiven means that we are incapable of creating it. Separating our negative thoughts from a need to achieve justice is crucial for future health and wellness. You control justice in your life by focusing on developing mental positivity which then outweighs emotional pain. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) encourages techniques that assist with the ability to forgive, as the heart of the theory involves paying attention to the relationship between thoughts, feelings and behavior."
Many people ruminate about someone who hurt them, keeping a ledger of grievances and awaiting justice. The absence of an apology often feels like a barrier to forgiveness, but forgiveness can be chosen independently of others' actions. Separating negative thoughts from the need to achieve external justice supports future health and wellness. Focusing on developing mental positivity can outweigh emotional pain and restore a sense of justice within oneself. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy provides techniques that target the relationships among thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to facilitate forgiveness. Letting go of anger and resentment creates relief, kindness, compassion, and inner peace.
Read at Psychology Today
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