A 53-year-old woman reports early cognitive decline, including forgetfulness, overwhelm and reduced mobility, and has not yet seen a doctor. Her husband, aged 60, is relatively healthy but emotionally distant and offers advice rather than practical support. Incidents such as being left behind at the cinema intensify her sense of loneliness and fear about future care. She longs for reassurance that they will mutually care for each other but doubts his capacity to provide the needed support. She is encouraged to seek medical evaluation and to prioritize her own care and wellbeing.
I have always been mindful that I might need to look after him in his old age. But I am a caring person, and always thought I would manage. This is not how things have worked out. My husband is pretty healthy, while I am suffering the beginnings of a noticeable cognitive decline forgetfulness, overwhelm and a decrease in mobility which I haven't been to the doctor about yet.
My husband gives me a lot of advice about my weight and health, but he doesn't walk or talk more slowly if I struggle to keep up. Today we went to the cinema as a family. I booked it, paid and drove, but my husband and kids walked off to the cinema without me and I couldn't catch up. I want to be together, but I'm left behind. This feels like a metaphor for our life.
Please go to the doctor. A proper checkup could put your mind at rest, or give you concrete answers to present to your family. So many women your age, who have had a lifetime of looking after others, are exhausted and overwhelmed not because they are failing, but because they are so capable. It's time to start looking after you.
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