"Many children today aren't just anxious. They are being trained by their parents to overthink. The kid who double-checks everything is 'conscientious.' The one who worries over outcomes is 'motivated.' Similarly, the teen who can't relax about the future is 'driven.'"
"Because our human brains are wired to be on the lookout for danger, these goal-oriented kids, like this young man, are actually getting stuck in maddening threat-detection loops. Parents who blindly reassure without helping kids face the likely uncertainties of disappointments and setbacks are fueling these worry loops."
"In this high-visibility, judgment-laden age, however, where the stakes of managing our impressions and engaging others 'properly' are higher than ever due to social-media-driven scrutiny and aggression, and a more ferocious, nasty court of public opinion, parents tell kids to be even more mindful, self-aware, reflective, and careful."
Modern parenting emphasizes excessive self-awareness, mindfulness, and careful impression management in response to social media scrutiny and public judgment. This approach, while well-intentioned, trains children to overthink rather than manage anxiety effectively. Parents label overthinking behaviors as conscientiousness, motivation, or drive, reinforcing worry patterns. Children become trapped in threat-detection loops, constantly running mental simulations of worst-case scenarios. Blind reassurance from parents without helping children face real uncertainties and disappointments actually fuels these anxiety cycles. Children need opportunities to take sensible risks, experience failure, and develop resilience rather than perpetual caution and self-monitoring.
Read at Psychology Today
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