Positive thinking in childhood often shields children from emotions, creating a superficial veneer of happiness. Psychoanalysis, particularly Melanie Klein's works, reveals the profound emotional struggles present in early child development. Klein's insights highlight that even infants grapple with complex feelings of love and loss. Mourning is essential for children to process perceived losses, leading to resilience. The emotional experiences of hurt and healing, demonstrated in play, are crucial for children to learn reparation, allowing them to navigate future emotional challenges effectively.
Every baby, Klein saw, is destined to realize a painful truth: beloved caregivers are not always there, and are not always perfect.
Mourning, for Klein, is the child's way of coming to terms with separation, disappointment, and the fact that love is always mixed with absence and longing.
In play, a child may attack a doll, only to care for it lovingly afterwards. Through these cycles, children unconsciously work to mend the hurts they inflict.
Learning to mourn—to face that what is loved is not always available—builds deep resilience and gives the child tools to tolerate future loss.
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