"In healthy relationships, people tend to feel safe and respected. You may argue, but you don't fight. A level of respect and care is maintained, and the past is not brought up as a weapon. Over time, your nervous system learns that this person is reliable. In unhealthy relationships, especially those involving emotional abuse, attachment works differently. Instead of safety, the bond forms around chaos and survival. This process is known as a trauma bond."
"Trauma bonds develop when periods of kindness, affection, or connection are mixed with unpredictability, criticism, stonewalling, or other forms of abuse. The good moments keep you hoping that things will get better. The brain tends to stick with what is familiar and predictable. You have been through the loop of lovebombing and abusive behavior, usually several times during this relationship. Peace and stability, as you find in a healthy relationship, can feel unknown and uncomfortable."
Going no contact with a toxic or narcissistic person can feel unbearably difficult and may provoke embarrassment or withdrawal feelings. Trauma bonds form when intermittent kindness follows unpredictable abuse, creating attachment based on chaos rather than safety. The brain favors familiar patterns, so repeated cycles of lovebombing and abuse reinforce craving for the relationship. Peace and stability may feel unknown or uncomfortable after such patterns. Ending contact reduces the chance of being hoovered and increases opportunities for recovery and healing. Support, boundary-setting, and awareness of trauma bonding dynamics aid in sustaining no contact and promoting nervous-system regulation.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]