"Some years ago, I was talking to my husband on the phone. He sounded annoyed about something to do with his work, but I noticed an intense emotional reaction in myself. Immediately, my heart contracted and my stomach lurched. I could feel a runaway train of emotions activate within me. My whole body was awash with nausea, and I felt so very uncomfortable."
"This was a familiar and old pattern for me. My husband had some feelings and expressed them, and I felt totally overwhelmed by them. It then created a loop of reactivity where he would say something in this annoyance, I would respond with fear that he was annoyed, and it would all become a big mess of emotions being thrown all over the place."
Intense physiological reactions can occur when someone close expresses annoyance, including heart contraction, nausea, and a sense of overwhelm. These bodily responses can trigger a reactivity loop in which perceived irritation from another provokes fear, attempts to soothe, and escalating emotional chaos. Habitual patterns of fixing, reassuring, or subjugating personal needs develop to avoid discomfort. Such responses extend beyond one relationship and can generalize to many interpersonal interactions. The impulse to resolve another's mood often sacrifices self-awareness and personal needs. Recognizing these patterns enables clearer emotional boundaries and reduces the compulsion to control others' feelings.
Read at Tiny Buddha
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