"All human beings, including you, experience suffering. It is possible to decrease your suffering in daily life. How upset you are depends not only on what happened but also on how much you want things to be different-an experience that can be expressed in the equation Suffering = Pain x Resistance. Resistance is how much you want things to be different."
"Often, however, we resist things as they are and our resistance increases our suffering. So it is wise to update the equation to Suffering = (Pain x Resistance)/ Self-Compassion. This modification reminds us to be gentle with ourselves. What follows is a brief review of how to practice self-­compassion. Self-­compassion is based on the understanding that all human beings, including you, deserve kindness."
Suffering arises from pain combined with resistance; reducing resistance lowers suffering. Self-compassion divides into mindful awareness, common humanity, and self-kindness. Mindful awareness means acknowledging personal struggle without overidentifying. Recognizing common humanity reminds that suffering and difficult emotions are universal. Self-kindness involves treating oneself with the same care and concern offered to a dear friend, especially during failure or pain. Updating the suffering equation by dividing by self-compassion emphasizes gentleness toward oneself. Practicing these elements can decrease everyday suffering and provide comfort during intensely painful circumstances.
Read at Psychology Today
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