"One of the main reasons for this, Orenstein concluded, is that the way we talk to girls about sex is almost exclusively focused on safety. Our completely appropriate and necessary focus on consent, coupled with our culture's discomfort in talking openly about sex and intimacy, has sent girls the message that the best-case scenario for when you become sexually active is not getting hurt."
"Knowing what feels good and that your comfort and pleasure are the most important can be protective in those moments. Instead of thinking, Maybe it won't be so bad, or They seem to really want this, she's more likely to realize, I don't want this, this doesn't feel good, and walk out of-or, if she can, escape-the encounter earlier."
Girls are often taught about sex primarily in terms of safety and consent, which can leave them disconnected from their own pleasure. Emphasizing consent without discussing pleasure sends the message that sexual activity’s best outcome is merely avoiding harm. Teaching girls what feels good and offering positive, pleasure-based sex education alongside refusal skills increases their ability to recognize uncomfortable situations and lowers rates of sexual assault in college by roughly 30–50 percent. Many assaults begin with escalating, low-level pressure; awareness of personal pleasure and prioritizing comfort enable earlier recognition and exit from risky encounters. Sex-positive lessons should begin early, affirming that bodies are made to feel good.
Read at Scary Mommy
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