Bobby takes Jennifer back to being 19, in his first serious relationship, when sex felt inevitable until it wasn't. He describes the confusion of not understanding what was happening, the pain, the panic, and how Ireland's patchy sex education and constant media messaging left him thinking it should be instant, easy, and effortless. Instead, he spiralled into silence, avoidance, and the kind of secrecy that only grows heavier with time.
Most of us received minimal, awkward, or fear-based sex education. We had to learn in small, fragmented ways, like ripping open the sealed section of a Dolly magazine or attempting to find things out from our peers (who were honestly just as clueless as we were). Pleasure was rarely, if ever, discussed and our bodies were seen as problems we needed to fix or manage.
In this episode of Just Between Us, Jennifer Zamparelli is joined by pharmacist and author Laura Dowling for the no-nonsense, myth-busting sex education most of us missed out on.
Recently, the Administration for Children and Families sent letters to health departments in states and territories across the United States, requiring them to remove "all references to gender ideology"from the Personal Responsibility Education Program that provides federal funding for sex education. It's a disturbing move that mirrors how, from the 1980s through the early 2000s, the Bush administrations threatened to and did cut federal funding to states and schools that refused to teach abstinence-only sex education as part of the Purity Culture Movement.
"I feel a lot less crazy there, as you learn the ups and downs and how to just genuinely enjoy it. Comedy is at its best when you're being loose and at its worst when you're really tense and overthinking things. All my best stuff I've ever gotten on the show has been Plan D or 'I don't know, how about this?' It's not the thing I'd spent all night meticulously trying to make work."
Ita O'Brien, an intimacy coordinator known for her work on 'Sex Education' and 'Normal People', emphasizes that on-screen portrayals of sex greatly influence our understanding and experiences of intimacy in relationships.
I became a sex educator for the nerdiest possible reason. When I got to undergrad, I knew I was gonna be going to grad school for something, I had no idea what, but I knew I needed volunteer work on my resume to look like a good grad school candidate.
"If this language is taken away, I think it creates more harms in these communities. It creates more division. You’re basically depriving a generation from understanding what these issues mean."
