"For parents who live in this reality, the heartbreak is layered. You can build the most predictable, loving, child-centered home imaginable, and still have to send your child into a second home that feels chaotic, emotionally unsteady, or unsafe. The truth is brutal: You cannot fix the other house. What you can fix is how your child experiences the transition."
"When your child says, "I don't want to go," your job is not to solve their problem; it is to listen. "Something about going feels really hard. Tell me about that." You don't interpret. You don't label the other home. You don't lead their explanation. You validate the experience by listening. Not, "I understand, honey. You'll be home soon." But, "What else can you share?""
Parents cannot control the other parent's home, so efforts must focus on the child's experience during transitions. Children who resist visiting the other parent's home often trigger blame, threats, or recruitment into adult conflict. Effective post-separation conduct requires restraint and education rather than immediate legal action or punitive responses. Listening to the child's concerns without interpretation or labeling validates their feelings and encourages further sharing. Documentation of behaviors and seeking co-parenting counseling or coaching can improve dynamics and provide practical strategies to protect the child's emotional well-being.
Read at Psychology Today
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