"Many of the parents felt that their way of doing presents wasn't working. Their children were disappointed, overwhelmed, or both. One mother described it this way: "Everybody opened everything all at once. It was chaos. I had a headache." The second topic was relatives: When they came, how long they stayed, and how many presents they gave. One mother with three small children had tried to control the overwhelm by having everyone come to her house instead of having to travel. That too was chaos."
"Now may be the time to sit down with your partner and talk about how you want the holidays to look next year, and to prepare family members for any changes you intend to make. One mother in our group, who has older children, said she wanted Christmas Eve and Christmas morning just for her own nuclear family. But she was afraid to tell her parents and her in-laws for fear of hurt feelings."
Many young parents are rethinking holiday routines after experiencing overwhelm and disappointment among children. Gift-giving practices often produced chaos, with children opening everything at once and becoming overstimulated. Relative visits raised questions about timing, duration and the number of presents, and attempts to control logistics sometimes still resulted in disorder. Parents are encouraged to discuss holiday plans with partners, decide which traditions to keep, and inform extended family about intended changes. Parents also wrestle with managing children's expectations for recurring gift nights and balancing desire for private family time against potential hurt feelings from relatives.
Read at Psychology Today
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