"If you don't already have a family culture of talking to each other beyond pleasantries (or unpleasantries), it's going to take some effort and some adjustment to change this. I think it's worth doing. Ask her to come with you to run an errand or take a walk. Walking and talking together can be much easier than sitting across from each other. Come at the question with curiosity."
"This may be like pulling teeth (for both of you), at first, but hopefully you can get some glimmer of something out of her, some tiny insight. Other good things to ask about: Her friends and their interests and hobbies, her teachers, what's going on with some celebrity she's interested in. Once you're chatting, I think you could ask her explicitly if there's anything bothering her, that she needs to talk about."
Teenagers often seek solitude and spending most of their time alone in their room can be normal. Many adolescents use phones and computers to chat, play games, listen to music, watch or record videos, read, draw, study, or simply think. Parents can invite low-pressure shared activities like errands or walks and ask curious, specific questions about music, media, friends, teachers, and hobbies. Pay attention to changes in sleep, appetite, hygiene, energy, mood, and social withdrawal. Ask directly if anything is bothering them and offer support. Seek medical or mental-health professional help for depression, self-harm, or suicidal signs.
Read at Slate Magazine
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