Pressure from traditional in-laws for a son creates concern for a Chinese-American couple raising two daughters. The couple values their children and plans to be honest about their family size. They aim to manage in-law expectations by restating their satisfaction with their daughters while avoiding arguments about gender preference. It is important to discuss how the in-laws' comments may affect the children's feelings of worth and self-esteem. The couple hopes to protect their daughters from any emotional harm stemming from the in-laws' beliefs without causing offense.
You and your husband might tell them that you're very happy with your two children and have no plans for a third.
If they say—and they will say!—'But you don't have a son! You must have a son!', my advice would be to repeat what you’ve just said.
Speak frankly with them about your concern that if they continue to talk about this in the presence of your daughters, it will hurt them.
You are not going to change them, and only they can decide to leave 'the old beliefs' behind: You can't make them.
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