Parents frequently uncover amusing and surprising elements related to their children's interests and behavior. For instance, one parent found a wedding planning book in her daughter's locker, which turned out to be part of a playful scheme to marry their dogs. Another parent recalled a childhood attempt to secretly raise chickens, involving theft that culminated in an awkward conversation about the logistics of keeping chicks. Observations of children's chaos, like clutter and odd treasures in their rooms, highlight the contrast between their academic success and personal tidiness.
I went to my 10-year-old daughter's school for parent-teacher conferences and opened her locker to take a look inside. There wasn't much in it, but lying at the bottom was a book from our local library about how to plan a wedding. Not a fun one with pictures of wedding dresses and stuff. It was called Wedding Rites: A Complete Guide to Traditional Vows, Music, Ceremonies, Blessings and Interfaith Services. I was baffled, and her teachers and I had a good laugh about it. When I got home and asked her about it, she explained she and her bestie were trying to marry their dogs to each other.
I was like 13, living in a rural area, and my best friend at the time was always up to something. For some reason, we got it in our heads that we could secretly raise chickens in the forest behind my house, so we bought an entire chicken starter kit, complete with feed, lights, and a book on how to do it right. We attempted to shoplift a few baby chicks in her sweater from the farm supply store, but got caught on the way out. The plan never materialized because no one would sell us baby chicks. Later, my mother found the starter stuff in my closet. It was a weird conversation. She was expecting to find drugs. She was mainly mad that the store didn't call her when we got caught attempting to shoplift baby chicks.
At least eight glasses of water, like it was goddamn Signs. Literal piles of trash under her covers that she definitely slept with. Random half-eaten bags of various chocolates...so many. Just gobs of boogers on the headboards. Unopened Capri-Sun pouches that, based on flavor, are artifacts. Clustered used pimple patches on her dresser, in her dresser, on the walls - just so many. This child is an honors student, by the way.
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