"After five years of trying and fertility treatments, my wife and I are expecting. We are over the moon, but I find myself anxious about boundaries with her parents. They are generous and adore my wife, but they are heavy, irresponsible drinkers. I have never shared a meal with them in 15 years together without alcohol, and there have been times when one or both of them have gotten so drunk that they've hurt themselves or said wildly inappropriate things."
"Before you talk to your wife, think about the role alcohol plays in your lives generally, and how you think that needs to change. You don't mention your own drinking habits-do you drink? Do you ever drink heavily? Is there an amount that you would be comfortable with you or your wife drinking around the baby? Get clear on how many drinks feels OK to you and how many makes you uncomfortable. Maybe it's zero."
A couple expecting after fertility treatments faces anxiety about the wife's parents, who are heavy and irresponsible drinkers. The in-laws frequently drink at meals and have sometimes become so intoxicated that they hurt themselves or said wildly inappropriate things. The couple refuses to entrust babysitting to them and wants to avoid traveling with them while raising a baby or toddler. The partner feels uncomfortable hiring a babysitter for adult social time that will involve heavy drinking. The recommended approach is to reflect on personal drinking habits, define acceptable amounts around the baby, and communicate clear, compassionate boundaries with the partner before the baby arrives.
Read at Slate Magazine
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