Why You're Always Late and How to Help

"Tardiness is a common issue and one that is often confused with ethics or character. "You'd be on time if you cared," or, "You're so unprofessional showing up late," may be phrases we tardy folks hear, reflecting the assumption that our arrival time reflects our personal values. I'm here to challenge that notion; showing up on time, or even early, does not necessarily reflect that you are a more virtuous person, just as being late does not indicate the opposite."

"You might think, "All I have to do is put on clothes," which indicates to your brain that you'll need maybe five minutes, when in reality that process involves finding clothes, making sure they match and are not (too) wrinkly, finding matching socks, shoes, and maybe a belt. If those aren't items with "parking spots" in your house, you'll find yourself using your "get dressed time" as a maddening treasure hunt."

Tardiness is often mistaken for poor character, but lateness typically stems from executive function gaps that can be developed or supported. Planning should include accurate estimates for each step in a get-ready routine because tasks like finding clothes, ensuring items match and locating accessories take more time than assumed. Assigning designated "parking spots" for clothing and essentials, creating a timed sequence, and leaving buffers for mistakes and traffic reduce delays. Making time concrete and visible helps maintain awareness of progress throughout the routine and increases the likelihood of arriving on time and feeling regulated.

Read at Psychology Today