"The American Psychological Association defines forgiveness as willfully putting aside feelings of resentment toward an individual who has committed a wrong, been unfair or hurtful, or otherwise harmed one in some way. Forgiveness, importantly, is not equated with reconciliation or excusing another, and it is not merely accepting what happened or ceasing to be angry. Rather, it involves a voluntary transformation of one's feelings, attitudes, and behavior toward the individual, so that one is no longer dominated by resentment"
"Every day, in my psychotherapy practice, I see patients struggling because they are stuck in the emotional and physical effects of the trauma of divorce. Forgiveness is not a substitute for grieving, and it is not forgetting or condoning what someone has done that hurt us. We must grieve the losses, wounds, and harm done to us. Sometimes we can begin the forgiveness process while still grieving."
When couples aged 50 and over split, gray divorce generates shock, pain, and trauma for spouses and family members. Trauma can leave deeper psychological wounds that persist long after events have passed. Forgiveness involves willfully setting aside resentment and voluntarily transforming feelings, attitudes, and behavior toward the person who caused harm. Forgiveness is distinct from reconciliation, excusing, or condoning and does not replace grieving. Self-forgiveness also matters. Letting go of resentment can reduce stress and foster emotional resilience, benefiting mental and physical health across generations affected by the divorce.
Read at Psychology Today
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