The moment I stopped apologizing before every request was the moment I realized I'd been treating my own needs as an imposition on other people's comfort. The apology wasn't politeness. It was a pre-negotiated discount on my own worth so nobody could reject me at full price. - Silicon Canals

"When you apologize before making a request, you're technically saying sorry. But you're not expressing regret for having done something wrong. You're expressing regret for existing in a way that might require something from someone else."

"The pre-request apology functions as a kind of emotional markdown. You're discounting the importance of what you need before the other person even has a chance to evaluate it."

"What looks like humility is actually a sophisticated form of self-erasure. You make yourself smaller so the other person never has to feel the weight of saying no."

Apologizing before making requests is often perceived as politeness, but it can actually undermine one's self-worth. This behavior acts as a shield, lowering the stakes before a potential rejection. Instead of expressing genuine regret, it reflects an internalized belief that one's needs are burdensome. This preemptive apology discounts the importance of the request and diminishes the individual's value, leading to self-erasure. Recognizing this pattern can transform one's understanding of personal worth and communication dynamics.

Read at Silicon Canals