"How do we let a $20 bathroom scale dictate how we feel about ourselves? I remember stepping on the scale and seeing numbers that somehow determined how I valued myself. What a ridiculous way to measure our worth."
The people who need you to shrink are dealing with their own stuff. After decades of running my own electrical contracting business, I've worked in hundreds of homes. Rich people, poor people, and everyone in between. You know what I noticed? The people who treated me like I was beneath them were always the ones fighting their own battles.
The idea that you aren't worthy unless you are producing results has seeped like insidious black mold into every facet of our modern lives. We are pressured to always be making goals, going somewhere, or achieving something. "Doing nothing" is scorned as lazy. Pursuing a hobby with no monetary value or social esteem is deemed a waste of time. You only have a certain number of days on this planet. If you don't spend them hustling, you're of no use to anyone.
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." ~Lao Tzu For many years, I was deeply involved in spiritual communities-satsangs, meditation centers, ashrams, and groups focused on positivity, service, and personal growth. These places gave me comfort, community, and a sense of purpose. But they also shaped something inside me that I didn't fully recognize until much later: I had built my self-worth around being a "good person."
Dating down is dating someone who isn't worth your time, your effort, and all that you have to offer. It's more about dating someone who isn't giving you what you deserve, such as enough loyalty and support. If you feel the need to justify why you are with the person or weaker in any way, you may be dating down. Dating down is common. But continuing to do so can keep you down and be a downright waste of time.
When people talk about love, the conversation usually centers on its expression: how deeply we care, how consistently we show up and how devotedly we give ourselves to the people who matter. Giving love is, of course, an admirable skill composed of sensitivity, maturity and emotional intelligence. Learning to offer warmth without defensiveness, and generosity without expectation, is a milestone in anyone's personal development.
For most of my life, I have carried an invisible companion: a harsh inner voice that sounds like mine and tells me, over and over, that I am not enough. It's so oppressive that people close to me have often said they'd never met anyone so hard on themselves. Over decades of listening to that voice, I let it convince me that no achievement was ever sufficient.
When did wellness become about achieving perfection, and when did leisure become a bad word? Perhaps it is the product of a society where self-worth is tied to productivity and external approval? In this context, we don't perform wellness for its own sake. It is the means to an end. Wellness tends to be how we weather the hustle. So what happens when you fall short of expectations set by yourself or others?
My therapy practice was generating a significant amount of revenue, yet I was on the brink of collapse. Poor profit margins and weak financial boundaries had left me in a severe cash-flow crisis. With kindness, he said: "Joyce, you're not running a charity-you deserve to make a profit."
Prior to that, I had little awareness of my appearance, other than being constantly mistaken for a boy due to the extremely short hair cuts imposed on me by my mother. To cope with the cruelty of classmates, I dogmatically played up a tomboy persona. Then my best friend's father began regularly putting his hand down my pants. This coincided with more childhood cruelty: an anonymous list circulating in my sixth-grade class that divided the girls into "pretty" or "smart."
I'd look for something new to take on: a class, a language, a project, a degree. Once, in the span of a single week, I signed up for language classes, researched getting certified in something I didn't actually want to do, and convinced myself I needed to start training for a 10K. Because if I was doing something productive, I wouldn't have to sit with what I was feeling. That was the pattern: uncomfortable emotion → frantic pursuit of something "more."
A young woman asked, "Did you always want to direct or did casting work inspire you to direct?" My response was immediate: "I always knew I wanted to direct but my self-worth was in the gutter. So, I had to work on that most of all." She gave that answer some very enthusiastic snaps, as did others in the audience. I thought, oh yeah, a lot of people feel that
The journey from secondary school to college, employment or repeating your exams can be daunting, but Dr David Coleman says it's important to remember your self-worth is not defined by CAO points or courses The Leaving Certificate results have landed and for many of you in the Class of 2025, the weeks of anticipation, dread or hope have finally given way to the stark translation of those results into CAO points.
Here are 14 real reasons why the man you loved may have walked away, and how you can learn from it: 2. You Gave Him Everything Too SoonWhen you hand over your body, your heart, and even your womb through repeated abortions, you reduce the value he places on you. Lovemaking doesn't guarantee commitment. 👉 Keep yourself. Build yourself. Let a man see your worth beyond your body.
Many women are choosing to stay single over settling. Choosing to stay single allows women to preserve their inner peace and autonomy. Singleness can create space for growth, friendships, and fulfillment outside of romantic partnership. Studies continue to confirm the trending rise in single women. And yet, even though this has become more of the norm, there are still deep feelings of shame around singlehood. Many conversations I've had with clients about dating and what it means to be single confirm this experience.
Some interactions fill us up, even energize us. There's a connection, not a transfer. But others leave us depleted. There's a heaviness we feel, and perhaps a sense of confusion. We worked hard, and empathy might continue to radiate through us to the point of becoming anxious thoughts.
