Psychology says the people described as having a strong personality aren't dominant or difficult, they're the ones who stopped softening themselves to make every room comfortable, and what reads as intensity from the outside is just the absence of the apology most people are still adding to every sentence - Silicon Canals

"What most people are reading as intensity, dominance, or being 'difficult' is often just the absence of something the rest of us are still doing constantly: apologising for existing."

"The habit of softening yourself is not politeness. It's a learned survival strategy."

"The research on self-silencing has since expanded far beyond gender. Recent studies consistently find that excessive people-pleasing behaviors are linked to neuroticism, social withdrawal, and diminished self-worth."

"The women in her studies weren't choosing quiet out of contentment. They were choosing it out of fear: fear of conflict, of rejection, of being 'too much.'"

Many individuals who seem to dominate a room do so not through aggression but through their presence and honesty. This behavior contrasts with the tendency to soften one's voice to avoid conflict, which is often a learned survival strategy. Research shows that women who suppress their thoughts to maintain relationships experience a significant loss of self, leading to depression. Excessive people-pleasing is linked to neuroticism and diminished self-worth, indicating that self-silencing has serious psychological consequences.

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