Leaders often claim openness but behave in ways that contradict those claims, creating say-do gaps. Small breaches—broken promises, fudged numbers, or silence when courage is needed—create distance between professed values and actions. Employees notice misalignment and stop raising concerns, leading to resignation and eroding trust. Teams learn not to speak up when leaders react defensively. Longitudinal research across thousands of interviews links perceived leader misalignment to a threefold increase in lying, cheating, and unfair behavior. Say-do gaps therefore produce ethical and cultural costs. Leaders frequently remain unaware of these gaps until damage is already done.
Later that afternoon, I spoke with one of his direct reports. She paused when I asked her what it was like to work for him. "He says he wants the truth," she said quietly, "but the moment we challenge him or bring up a concern, he gets defensive or shuts the conversation down. So we've all just stopped trying. He's not a bad guy. He's better than a lot of bosses around here. But he doesn't want the truth the way he claims."
Most leaders don't wake up in the morning intending to be dishonest. But every time we make a promise we don't keep, fudge a number to hit a target, or stay silent in a moment that demands courage, we open what I call a say-do gap-the space between what we say we value and what we actually do. It may feel small in the moment. Harmless, even. But these gaps come at a steep cost.
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