"In childhood, he felt like he did not belong to the small cultish church of his family, a fact and internal pain he minimized. The spirit of the church did not fit, and he felt a pull to what became the shadows of sex. Pornography, prostitutes, and internet obsession drew him increasingly into a secret life. He felt an outsider, and the not belonging represented an unanswered need for security."
"To be freed from his adapted narcissistic shackles [Why are these adapted shackles?] requires a significant and profound working through of the deep-seated vulnerabilities interfering with this man's relationships. This occurs when he pauses to reflect, rather than rushing to defend himself. Our relation to interiority progressively evolves over time and persistently demands that we analyze ourselves in authentically honest and confessional ways, as we find ourselves in the present, including as we wish to be."
Addiction functions as a facade, masking deep vulnerabilities by mimicking societal norms and providing a false sense of security. Childhood alienation and cult-like family religion can generate wounds that split public and private selves, fostering adapted narcissism and secret sexual behaviors. Secrecy, pornography, prostitution, and internet obsession can create an outsider identity and unfulfilled needs for security. Recovery requires profound working through of deep-seated vulnerabilities, pausing to reflect rather than defensively reacting, and honest self-analysis. Introspection and therapeutic work help reconnect lost interiority, confront human frailty, and replace addiction's complacent safety with authentic relational capacities.
Read at Psychology Today
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