Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that gradually undermines a person's confidence, causing them to question judgments, feelings, memories, and reality. Abusers use gaslighting to gain and maintain power and control, breaking down confidence by insisting the victim's interpretation of events is incorrect. Gaslighting can serve as a way to avoid responsibility, for example by accusing the partner of unfaithfulness to cover concurrent disloyal behavior. The term originates from the 1938 play Gaslight, in which a husband tries to convince his wife she is losing her mind. Common gaslighting phrases include outright denial of events and minimization that creates self-doubt.
Because of its insidious nature, it can be hard for victims to recognize it as it's happening. Abusers use gaslighting as a way to gain and maintain power and control in the relationship. They break down your confidence over time by making you think your interpretation of events is incorrect. The more you second-guess yourself, the more you start to believe their version must be the accurate one.
"People who cannot authentically argue their point of view or stand behind their words turn to gaslighting as a tool," therapist Shannon Thomas, author of Healing From Hidden Abuse, told HuffPost. "They resort to confusion-creating tactics, and that is a sign of character weakness." The term comes from the 1938 play Gasligh t by Patrick Hamilton (later adapted into two films in the 1940s), in which a husband tries to convince his wife she's losing her mind to distract her from his criminal behavior.
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