"When partners are unhappy, they communicate this mostly indirectly. They don't just express unhappiness during arguments - they're meaner, sabotage their partners, and deliberately stir negative emotions. They often have the attitude "If I'm unhappy, you're going to be unhappy too." Below are seven communication patterns people exhibit when they're unhappy in their relationship. This article isn't meant to be judgmental. Readers may notice they're enacting some patterns and on the receiving end of others."
"When someone is unhappy, they might sabotage their partner's goals or not make any effort to help. For example, not helping their partner be on time for a class, sabotaging a partner who is trying to improve their sleep, or not even trying to be quiet when the other person is trying to focus. The person's commitment to resisting anything their partner wants can extend to hurting joint success, like overspending or under-investing if financial goals are important to their partner."
Partners frequently convey unhappiness indirectly through behaviors beyond direct argumentation, including meanness, sabotage, and deliberate emotional provocation. Unhappy partners may resist or undermine individual and joint goals, decline to help, and take actions that harm shared success. Some unhappy people attempt to weaken their partner's connections with supportive others. Exhibiting one or two negative behaviors can reflect specific complaints, while multiple concurrent behaviors more reliably signal broader unhappiness. These dynamics can appear in romantic and workplace relationships. Identifying these patterns makes them harder to ignore and helps recipients avoid personalizing specific grievances.
Read at Psychology Today
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