Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that persuades a person to doubt their memories, perceptions, and judgment. Perpetrators rewrite accounts of past events, twist reality, and deny actions to erode the victim's confidence. Victims increasingly rely on the manipulator's account and lose belief in their own competence. Manipulation can be subtle, involving sulking, complaints, and contradictory statements that sow confusion. The resulting self-doubt impairs decision-making and emotional stability. Recognizing gaslighting involves examining patterns of denial, contradiction, and blame shifting. Asking targeted questions about consistency, motives, and corroborating evidence can help determine whether gaslighting is occurring.
Later that night you're sitting on the sofa with your partner, having stayed home to be with them, and they say it's a shame that you're so anti-social and never go out with friends. Now you're confused. But I wanted to go out to tonight, you say, and I only stayed home because you were so unhappy about it. He seems bewildered by this.
Y ou've remembered it wrong, he says. I never told you not to go out; I was happy for you to go, but you decided you couldn't be bothered. As you sit there next to him, you replay what happened earlier. Did you remember wrong? You were sure he was the one that caused you to cancel, but now you're doubting yourself. Can you trust your own memory if he's saying it happened differently?
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