"There's a very specific fantasy attached to the empty nest, and it's surprisingly sexual. The assumption is that once the interruptions are gone, the two of you will look at each other and remember exactly how this worked. That sex has been waiting patiently behind the closed door of your parenting years, ready to resume the moment the house gets quiet."
"The reality is that for most couples, the empty nest doesn't uncover a fully intact sex life. It reveals the relationship that's actually been there all along-just without the constant motion and noise of parenting to organize it."
"That can feel less like a sudden rekindling and more like a pause-a moment where you realize how much of your connection has been structured around being needed, being busy, being focused."
The empty nest fantasy suggests that couples will rediscover their sexual connection once the children leave. However, this notion can be misleading. For many couples, the empty nest does not restore a vibrant sex life but instead exposes the true nature of their relationship, which has been largely defined by parenting responsibilities. The absence of children may lead to a realization of how much of their connection was based on being needed and busy, rather than intimacy and desire.
Read at Scary Mommy
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