"Your partner tells you they can't wait to travel with you, move in together, or start a family someday. You feel appreciated and secure, like you can finally share your dreams with someone. But months or years later, none of those promises have happened. Every time you ask your partner about these future plans, there's an excuse, delay, or punishment."
"The goal isn't to build a real future. Your partner is working toward gaining power and control over you. They want trust, affection, attention, or compliance right now just based on their words. They may need something from you, and they figure that promising you something you want (that they never intend to follow through on) is the quickest way to get it."
Future-faking involves making promises about travel, moving in, marriage, or family to obtain trust, affection, attention, or compliance now. The promises are typically about things the other person values and are never intended to be kept. The tactic creates hope and keeps the partner waiting while excuses, delays, and punishments replace follow-through. Future-faking is often used to gain power and control and appears in abusive and narcissistic relationships. Evaluate partners by consistent actions rather than words. Reclaim power by setting clear boundaries and reducing contact, including low-contact or no-contact when necessary.
Read at Psychology Today
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