Harriette Cole: My girlfriend is pushing my boundaries with her latest request
Briefly

Harriette Cole: My girlfriend is pushing my boundaries with her latest request
"I care about her deeply, but taking on someone else's debt even someone I love feels like a huge risk. I've worked hard to protect my own credit, and the idea of being on the hook for a car that isn't mine stresses me out. When I tried to express my hesitation, she acted hurt and suggested it meant I didn't trust her. That's not true at all. I'm more than willing"
"Maybe now is the time to talk about relationships and finances. Talk about the future and what you each want for your life. Share your credit reports and review how you spend money. What are your savings and investments today, and what are your plans for the years to come? Get into a serious conversation about money. In that context, discuss cosigning and why that is a huge step for you that you do not take lightly. Come to a consensus together."
"I always felt like no matter what changed around us, we would stay the same. Ever since I moved away for a new job a few months ago, it feels like our connection has evaporated. I'm the one constantly reaching out, and she'll respond days later with short replies or not at all. When I visited home recently, she seemed warm enough in person, but once I left, the distance snapped right back."
One person lives with a girlfriend who requested a car cosign, which raised concerns about taking on another person's debt and risking personal credit. The person offers alternative ways to help build credit but fears pressure and guilt if refusing. Advice recommends open financial discussions: share credit reports, review spending, savings, investments, and long-term plans, and treat cosigning as a major decision reached by consensus. Another person reports growing emotional distance from a sister after relocating for work, describing one-sided contact and warm in-person behavior that reverts to distance after leaving, leaving uncertainty whether the sister is upset or overwhelmed.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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