"The reality is that as much as good hosts want their guests to be unencumbered, they care much more about everyone having a great time. To honor their request, I no longer worry over the perfect nice-but-not-too-cheap bottle of wine or box of chocolates that may end up regifted back to me, and instead bring the host some peace of mind, simply by taking a moment before the party to assemble a tastefully arranged basket of conversation topics to share with fellow guests."
"To those who do not battle social anxiety or shyness, this preparation might sound unnecessary, perhaps strange or even controlling. To clarify, I don't arrive with a list of topics I want to hold forth upon; rather, I keep a mental list of conversation starters to connect with everyone. The practice comes from years of experience at family holidays. While my dad was at the helm in the kitchen, my younger brother stayed closeby preparing desserts."
Bringing a tasteful basket of conversation topics to gatherings functions as a practical, nonmaterial host gift that focuses on guests' enjoyment rather than etiquette obligations. Preparing a mental list of open, connective conversation starters helps connect with multiple people without dominating conversation. The practice originates from managing busy family holiday kitchens and the responsibility to keep others out of the way. Thoughtful conversational preparation reduces long silences and interference in the kitchen, calms social anxiety, and supports smoother, more enjoyable gatherings for hosts and guests alike.
Read at Slate Magazine
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