"Sometimes it is their fault. Sometimes, however, children remind us that they are their own people and act independently despite one's best efforts and proper upbringing. It is a good and wise parent friend who can tell the difference. Miss Manners suggests that you help this one along on the journey. Reach out to your friend to clear the air, telling her that you were appalled by your daughter's behavior and have had many long talks about how it affects her friend."
"You might even say that if she sees your daughter acting this way again to tell you at once and you will address it. Your friend may attempt to rekindle the friendship or she may not. But the chances of the situation being reversed at some point in her own child's interactions are high. So she would be wise to be generous with you."
Parent-child conflict arose when a daughter distanced herself from a close friend and later reached out to reconcile. The parent's friendship with the other child's mother became strained because the parent's child acted poorly. Children sometimes act independently despite proper upbringing, making parental blame not always justified. The parent should clear the air by contacting the other mother, expressing dismay at the child's behavior, and describing conversations held about its effects. The parent can invite immediate correction if the behavior recurs. The friend may or may not rekindle the friendship, but reciprocity in children's social conflicts often suggests generosity is prudent.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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