Andrea and Leigh, a couple who have been committed since 2010, maintain a Living Apart Together (LAT) relationship, meeting on weekends and communicating daily. This arrangement allows them to enjoy independence while being emotionally connected. According to psychologist Elisabeth Shaw, LAT is increasingly accepted among older individuals, reflecting a shift in perspectives about love and commitment, where conventional arrangements like cohabitation are less prioritized, enabling individuals to avoid potential complications such as shared finances or caregiving responsibilities. Their relationship illustrates modern dynamics and the value placed on autonomy in later life partnerships.
For Andy and Leigh, maintaining separate homes is a conscious decision, though they sometimes discuss the idea of cohabiting. We can afford to live separately and still enjoy our lifestyles [and] we don't have to deal with a lot of the domestic argy-bargy that some couples have to deal with by living together, Andy says.
For people who have had a lot of relationship experience or life experience, it's about saying, I can really love this person but I no longer am driven by the need to do the conventional relationship and all the implications that come from that.
The commentary now is that it's quite expected that people may have two or more really significant relationships across the lifespan.
The LAT relationship is becoming more popular among over-60s, highlighting a shift towards valuing independence and flexibility within romantic partnerships.
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