During family estrangement, feelings of relief, loss, regret, and guilt may arise. Considering reconnecting necessitates an assessment of one’s expectations and willingness to accept the estranged person as they are now. Understanding potential changes in personal behavior and coping strategies during the estrangement is important. Additionally, defining emotional boundaries for the reconnection is essential, including location and behavior acceptance, as is the need to emotionally prepare for any grieving of the relationship hoped for but potentially unattainable.
Expectations are the foundation of your decision to reconnect. Are you hoping that the estrangement has led to a fundamental shift in the other person's behavior, mindset, or emotional maturity? Do you have evidence of change, or is it wishful thinking? Expecting someone to have completely altered their personality, coping skills, or anger levels without concrete proof is a setup for disappointment.
Can I Interact With This Person as They Currently Are? It's important to confront whether you are truly open to reconnecting with the person as they are, without the emotional growth or improvements you wanted for them. The more honest you are with yourself about this, the better prepared you will be.
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