The etiquette of ascending stairs dictates that a woman should precede a man while navigating stairs. This arrangement may lead to a gentleman maintaining inappropriate perspective. An invitation to a 95th birthday celebration raised concerns regarding its uninviting tone, particularly the prohibition against alcohol and the request for cash contributions in lieu of gifts. Such a cash box for cards implies a charge for attendance, which can shape one's decision to attend the event. Ladylike decorum requires consideration of the overall messaging of the invitation.
The correct procedure is that the lady goes up the stairs first, and a gentleman keeps his salacious thoughts to himself.
There is no need to serve alcohol, but there is also no need to issue a warning, as if the guests were likely to smuggle it in.
Forbidding presents while putting out a cash box makes it clear that admission is being charged.
Ordinarily, Miss Manners would advise you to treat this like the fundraiser it is, that is, to accept only if you consider it a charity you want to support.
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