The article explores the author's personal reflections on identity and healing through a return to their native Cambodia. The narrative highlights a poignant moment during a family river cruise when the author witnesses their mother reminisce about her life along the TonleÌ Sap river. This setting evokes memories for the mother, leading to an emotional connection to their shared past. The author recognizes their own shame about being gay, revealing the complexities of returning to a familiar yet changed homeland. Ultimately, they emphasize the importance of understanding one's heritage in the journey towards self-acceptance.
Healing happens in the churn of our returning. Traveling helped me see I still have residual shame about being gay; it took launching myself out of America.
My mom chose a seat on the lower deck, alone on a faux leather sofa. When she didnât join us on the upper deck, I descended and took a seat across from her.
"I know what this river looks like," my mother said. "This was my life, a long time ago, along this river."
We hadnât intended to take that river cruise on the TonleÌ Sap, but it was suggested by one of my sisters as a fun group activity.
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