What 'Heated Rivalry' Taught Me About How Unwilling We Are To Be Honest About Sex & Desire
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What 'Heated Rivalry' Taught Me About How Unwilling We Are To Be Honest About Sex & Desire
"I have watched the entire Heated Rivalry series six times. Before you judge me, please note the following: I work from home, I have a tiny TV next to my computer, and I am an elite-level multitasker. This is not "lying on the couch, neglecting my responsibilities" behavior. This is "answering emails while emotionally spiraling" behavior, which at this point in my life feels very on-brand."
"When I bring up the show, the reactions are immediate and weirdly defensive. "It's not because they're gay," someone will say quickly. "I just don't like the plot. It's not my thing." Sure. Maybe. But I call bullshit. Because what I'm actually hearing is discomfort. Not with storytelling. Not with pacing. But with watching two men have sex, and with what enjoyment that might stir up internally."
"And here's the truth: Being turned on by watching two gay men does not mean anything about your sexuality. It doesn't mean you secretly want something different. It doesn't mean you don't love your husband. It doesn't mean you need to "figure something out." It means it's hot. It's intimate. It's charged. It's forbidden in that delicious, fictional, low-stakes way that makes your nervous system light up in a world that's increasingly sad and depressing every single day."
A frequent viewer repeatedly watches a series featuring two gay men and notices defensive reactions from straight, married mothers when the show is mentioned. Many women quickly dismiss the show as a matter of taste while actually feeling discomfort about arousal triggered by male-male intimacy. Arousal in that context does not indicate changed sexual identity or lack of love for a spouse. The arousal is described as hot, intimate, and safely forbidden. Cultural norms pressure mothers to minimize visible desire and avoid discussing sexual curiosity, enforcing silence around non-normative sources of pleasure.
Read at Scary Mommy
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