In previous generations, the time out may have been standard practice, and still is for a lot of families. But for us, making her spend time looking at a corner or sitting in her room when she's feeling completely overwhelmed is not something my husband and I find to be effective. We also don't want to teach her that having feelings is a punishable offense.
Research shows that what most call a 'time-out' can be effective. Many decades of research have shown that time-out is associated with a reduction in aggressive behavior, improved child compliance, and increased generalization of appropriate behavior across environments.
However, traditional time-outs have their downsides. Common criticisms include that time-outs increase emotional dysregulation, fail to teach children distress tolerance and regulation of their emotions.
Instead, we practice 'time-ins.' When our daughter is on the brink of losing her temper or already in a meltdown, we provide her with a pause and support, rather than isolating her.
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