"Let us suppose that you have a goal of becoming physically fit. Would a one-time workout at the gym suffice? Perhaps your goal is to become proficient at forgiving. Would a one-time event, reducing anger or wishing an adversary well, suffice? The answer to both questions above is a definitive "no." Yet, many people have come to think of forgiveness as a one-time decision: "I forgive you." There. It is all wrapped up, and I am finished with my forgiveness."
"Forgiveness, from careful philosophical analysis, is a moral virtue of willingly being good to those who have not been good to you, without excusing the unjust behavior, or forgetting what happened (so you can watch your back if the injustice continues), or automatically reconciling, or abandoning the quest for justice ( Song, Enright, and Kim, 2025)."
Forgiveness functions like a fitness regimen that demands repeated effort, resilience, and intentional practice rather than a single declaration. Genuine forgiveness means willingly being good to those who have been unjust without excusing their actions, forgetting the harm, automatically reconciling, or abandoning the pursuit of justice. Progress involves learning what forgiveness truly is, practicing forgiving behaviors, developing proficiency, cultivating a love for forgiving, and integrating forgiveness into personal identity. The process requires confronting discomfort, resisting cultural shortcuts, and committing to sustained moral growth so others do not retain power over emotional life.
Read at Psychology Today
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