Parenting
fromPsychology Today
19 hours agoIn Defense of "Gentle Parenting"
Gentle parenting faces criticism for being perceived as passive, while authoritative parenting is recognized as the most effective approach.
#daughtering
#daughtering
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#parenting #child-development #family-dynamics #mental-health #communication #psychology #emotional-intelligence
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 hour agoThere's a generation of people who were taught to apologize for their needs so effectively that as adults they experience wanting something as a form of aggression against whoever might have to provide it - Silicon Canals
Many adults associate expressing needs with guilt, viewing requests as impositions rather than natural interactions.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
10 hours agoPsychology says the loneliest part of getting older isn't being alone - it's realizing that some friendships were only meant for a season, and not everyone grows with you - Silicon Canals
Friendships often fade as adults prioritize responsibilities and seek deeper connections, leading to feelings of loneliness even among familiar faces.
#parenting
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
2 days agoMy Mom Seems to Think I Owe Her for Raising Me Alone. I Don't Want to Pay Her Price.
Family relationships shouldn't be transactional, and one is not obligated to provide childcare for a parent.
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
1 day agoI Just Turned 40. My Mom Still Hijacks My Birthday Every Year.
Establish boundaries with your mother regarding birthday celebrations to prioritize your own needs and desires.
Parenting
fromScary Mommy
2 days agoDo You Spend More Time With Your Kids Than Your Parents Did With You?
Parents today engage more with their children than they experienced in their own childhood.
#emotional-intelligence
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoChildren who grew up in homes where one parent was the peacekeeper and the other was the storm almost always become adults who can read a room in seconds but have no idea what they actually feel when nobody else is in it - Silicon Canals
Emotional intelligence can stem from childhood experiences in volatile family dynamics, leading to heightened perception of others but self-blindness.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoThere's a generation of men who became their mother's therapist before they turned twelve, and they grew into adults who can read a room in seconds but have no idea how to sit in one without scanning for danger - Silicon Canals
Boys often learn emotional intelligence as a defense mechanism due to emotional parentification, impacting their adult relationships and emotional health.
#family-dynamics
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says the adults most likely to feel invisible in their own families are not the most difficult ones - they're the ones who made themselves so consistently available, so reliably capable, so quietly present, that everyone around them stopped noticing the person and started relying on the function - Silicon Canals
Reliability can lead to emotional invisibility within family dynamics, where the capable individual is overlooked despite their struggles.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoMost families have one person everyone loves but nobody genuinely listens to - and psychology says that person almost always knows exactly who they are, has known for decades, and long ago stopped hoping anyone else would figure it out - Silicon Canals
Family dynamics often lead to certain voices being unheard, creating an invisible hierarchy that affects communication and connection.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPeople who grew up watching their parents stay together unhappily often become adults who are simultaneously terrified of commitment and terrified of leaving. They inherited the architecture of endurance without ever being shown what it was supposed to protect - Silicon Canals
Children of unhappy marriages may develop relational paralysis, feeling unable to commit or leave due to learned endurance without understanding its purpose.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology explains people who grew up with very little affection become adults who are deeply uncomfortable being comforted - not because they don't need it but because need, expressed openly, was never safe, and the body that learned that keeps flinching from the very thing it was always asking for - Silicon Canals
Experiencing a lack of affection in childhood can lead to difficulties in accepting comfort and expressing needs in adulthood.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoI'm in my 30s and I just understood something about my father that therapy never gave me. He didn't withhold affection because he didn't feel it. He withheld it because in the world he came from, the moment you showed someone how much they meant to you was the moment you gave them the power to destroy you. - Silicon Canals
Emotional withholding can protect against vulnerability, revealing deeper love and care beneath perceived indifference.
#silence
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology
Not everyone who stays silent during an argument is shutting you out. Some of them grew up in houses where raised voices preceded things that couldn't be taken back, and their silence isn't withdrawal. It's the sound of someone trying very hard not to become a person they promised themselves they'd never be. - Silicon Canals
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoNot everyone who goes quiet during an argument is punishing you. Some of them learned in childhood that their anger, once expressed, became the only thing anyone responded to, and the original hurt disappeared entirely. So they stopped expressing it. Not to win. To preserve the point. - Silicon Canals
Silence during conflict can stem from past trauma rather than being a power move.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoNot everyone who stays silent during an argument is shutting you out. Some of them grew up in houses where raised voices preceded things that couldn't be taken back, and their silence isn't withdrawal. It's the sound of someone trying very hard not to become a person they promised themselves they'd never be. - Silicon Canals
Silence after an argument can signify deeper emotional struggles rather than mere avoidance or rejection.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoNot everyone who goes quiet during an argument is punishing you. Some of them learned in childhood that their anger, once expressed, became the only thing anyone responded to, and the original hurt disappeared entirely. So they stopped expressing it. Not to win. To preserve the point. - Silicon Canals
Silence during conflict can stem from past trauma rather than being a power move.
#child-development
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoPeople who were labeled 'the easy child' often became adults who confuse having no needs with being low maintenance, and the difference between those two things is about thirty years of unasked questions - Silicon Canals
Easy children often grow into adults who suppress their needs, leading to quiet suffering despite appearing content.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoI'm 37 and my daughter just said sorry for laughing too loud and I recognized the exact moment a child starts editing herself because I remember the day I did it too, and I remember who taught me. - Silicon Canals
Children often self-regulate their joy, but this can lead to unnecessary apologies for natural expressions of happiness.
#emotional-sensitivity
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says the difference between an emotionally immature woman and a genuinely sensitive one comes down to a single question: whose feelings are always at the center of every conversation? - Silicon Canals
Emotional sensitivity can mask self-absorption, leading to immature handling of feelings and a focus on personal pain over others' experiences.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPeople who grew up being the one their parents confided in didn't become mature faster. They became adults who can't tell the difference between being trusted and being used, because the two things arrived in the same conversation and nobody told them those were different experiences. - Silicon Canals
Emotional parentification involves children taking on adult roles, leading to hypervigilance rather than true emotional maturity.
Miscellaneous
fromSilicon Canals
1 month agoPsychology says people who were the "easy child" in their family didn't actually have fewer needs - they just learned faster than their siblings that expressing those needs came at a cost - Silicon Canals
Children who suppress their needs to avoid conflict often internalize the belief that having needs makes them burdensome, carrying this pattern into adulthood.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoPsychology suggests people who were never taken seriously as children grow into adults who either compulsively over-explain or go completely silent - and both responses are the same wound wearing different clothes - Silicon Canals
Over-explaining often stems from trauma and anxiety, leading to chronic justification of one's presence in conversations.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoPsychology suggests the most reliable sign that someone had a difficult childhood isn't what they tell you about it - it's how startled they look when you are simply kind to them without a reason, as though kindness without a transaction attached is something the body recognizes as unusual before the mind has finished deciding what to do with it - Silicon Canals
Kindness can trigger confusion in those with a history of trauma due to learned survival responses from past experiences.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoThe people who become the calmest adults are almost never the ones who had calm childhoods. They're the ones who grew up in houses where someone else's mood was the weather, and they learned to regulate the entire room before they ever learned to regulate themselves. - Silicon Canals
Children from chaotic homes can develop heightened emotional awareness and calmness, contrary to the belief that such environments only produce turbulence.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoNobody teaches children how to know their own worth - we teach them to perform, to achieve, and to behave, and then wonder why so many adults reach fifty still measuring themselves against someone else's ruler - Silicon Canals
Self-worth is inherent and not based on achievements or external validation.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoThere's a particular grief that hits when your parent asks you for help with something they used to do effortlessly, and neither of you acknowledges what just shifted. You both pretend it's a preference. It's not a preference. It's the first visible transfer of authority that neither of you consented to. - Silicon Canals
Aging parents often disguise their need for help as preference, masking the underlying shift in the parent-child power dynamic.
Education
fromSilicon Canals
2 months agoTeachers can tell which children are truly loved and which are only taken care of-here are 7 signs they notice right away - Silicon Canals
Teachers can quickly detect whether children feel genuinely loved at home through subtle, consistent behavioral cues rather than material signs.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoChildren who were praised for being helpful and easy often become adults who are remarkably kind and deeply lonely at the same time - because they learned that being low-maintenance was how you earned love, and now they can't ask for what they need without feeling like a burden - Silicon Canals
Conditional praise can lead to emotional costs and a sense of conditional love in children, impacting their adult relationships and self-perception.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoI grew up watching my mother apologize to my father for having opinions and I spent twenty years thinking I'd broken the pattern until my partner said 'you always start your sentences with sorry' and I heard her voice come out of my mouth. - Silicon Canals
Intergenerational relationship patterns persist in automatic physical and verbal behaviors despite conscious awareness, operating below the level of deliberate choice.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 month agoI raised my younger siblings more than I parented my own children because by the time I had kids I'd already used up something - a patience, a vigilance, a willingness to carry - that most new parents still have fresh. And nobody in my family has ever connected those two things. - Silicon Canals
Parentification—when children assume adult caregiving responsibilities prematurely—depletes emotional resources that affect their capacity for parenting their own children later in life.
fromenglish.elpais.com
2 months agoI don't like my mother': Why do children decide to distance themselves from their parents?
Parents hold a key that grants access to areas of their child's life that no one else can enter a foundational intimacy. However, more and more people are choosing to sever that bond and throw the key away. It's difficult to quantify how many children have decided to stop speaking to their parents, although some studies point to a steady increase in recent years.
Relationships
fromSlate Magazine
1 month agoI've Always Known What Kind of Person My Mother Is. Unfortunately, My 3-Year-Old Has Figured It Out, Too.
It's easy to get caught up in what we believe we owe our parents. But we shouldn't forget what we owe ourselves, or our children. It's great that your child was able to communicate her discomfort to you. She has let you know that she 'really, really' doesn't want to visit your mom. And now I think she needs you to pay attention to those things.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 months agoListen to Your Mother: What Children Learn by Eavesdropping
What makes me even crazier is that I know they can listen. I know this because they do all the time, mostly when they aren't supposed to. I can't tell you how many times I've been having an adult conversation with my husband and/or friends and my two children-who haven't listened to a word I've said all day-suddenly have very thoughtful and detailed questions
Parenting
Parenting
fromIndependent
2 months agoOur daughter only wants her mum - how can I step in to help soothe her and share the load?
Young children often prefer one parent; gently stepping back and rebalancing caregiving duties prevents caregiver burnout and supports children's developing emotional regulation.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 month agoPsychology says eldest daughters who always took care of everyone else usually display these 9 traits as adults - Silicon Canals
Eldest daughters who took on caregiving roles in childhood develop ingrained responsibility, difficulty setting boundaries, and strong problem-solving skills shaping adult behavior.
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