#parental-preferences

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#parenting
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 hours ago

Research suggests the 1960s and 70s produced adults who could self-soothe, entertain themselves, and tolerate boredom - not because their parents were wise but because their parents were simply elsewhere - Silicon Canals

Modern parenting emphasizes structured activities, contrasting sharply with past generations' unstructured play, which may have fostered resilience and independence in children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Psychology says parents who can't stop helping their adult children aren't being loving - they're unconsciously protecting themselves from the terror of becoming unnecessary - Silicon Canals

Parental overinvolvement may stem from a fear of irrelevance rather than solely from love.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 day ago

When Your Adult Child Says 'I Hate You' and Then Wants Money

Emotional outbursts from adult children often stem from overload, and parents should change their responses to reset dynamics.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 66 and I recently told my son that I was proud of him for the first time in his adult life, and the look on his face told me everything about the cost of assuming that providing for someone communicates the same thing as telling them they matter - Silicon Canals

Verbal expressions of pride are crucial for emotional connection between parents and children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 days ago

Psychology says the 1960s and 70s accidentally produced one of the most emotionally durable generations in modern history - not through better parenting but through benign neglect that forced children to develop internal regulation instead of waiting for adult intervention - Silicon Canals

Children in the 70s thrived on unstructured play and minimal parental intervention, fostering independence and problem-solving skills.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 hours ago

Research suggests the 1960s and 70s produced adults who could self-soothe, entertain themselves, and tolerate boredom - not because their parents were wise but because their parents were simply elsewhere - Silicon Canals

Modern parenting emphasizes structured activities, contrasting sharply with past generations' unstructured play, which may have fostered resilience and independence in children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Psychology says parents who can't stop helping their adult children aren't being loving - they're unconsciously protecting themselves from the terror of becoming unnecessary - Silicon Canals

Parental overinvolvement may stem from a fear of irrelevance rather than solely from love.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 day ago

When Your Adult Child Says 'I Hate You' and Then Wants Money

Emotional outbursts from adult children often stem from overload, and parents should change their responses to reset dynamics.
Relationships
fromPsychology Today
6 days ago

7 Words Adult Children Say Before Cutting Off Parents

Disconnection often begins quietly, with feelings of not being understood leading to significant relationship breakdowns.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 66 and I recently told my son that I was proud of him for the first time in his adult life, and the look on his face told me everything about the cost of assuming that providing for someone communicates the same thing as telling them they matter - Silicon Canals

Verbal expressions of pride are crucial for emotional connection between parents and children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 days ago

Psychology says the 1960s and 70s accidentally produced one of the most emotionally durable generations in modern history - not through better parenting but through benign neglect that forced children to develop internal regulation instead of waiting for adult intervention - Silicon Canals

Children in the 70s thrived on unstructured play and minimal parental intervention, fostering independence and problem-solving skills.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 hours ago

The hardest thing about being the calm one in a family is that your steadiness becomes load-bearing. Everyone leans on it, nobody asks what holds it up, and the day you finally crack, people don't comfort you. They panic. Because your collapse threatens the architecture, and the architecture was always more important than you were. - Silicon Canals

The calm family member often bears the burden of emotional labor, managing others' feelings while suppressing their own.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
5 hours ago

Psychology says people who were told they were gifted as children often grow into adults who avoid challenges - because their identity was built on being naturally good, not on getting better - Silicon Canals

Labeling children as 'gifted' can hinder their growth by tying their self-worth to innate talent rather than effort and improvement.
#family-dynamics
Relationships
fromSlate Magazine
2 days ago

I Don't Let Anyone I Date Meet My Parents. That's Not a Red Flag. I Have a Very Good Reason Why.

Some individuals avoid introducing partners to difficult family members to protect them from negative experiences.
Relationships
fromSlate Magazine
2 days ago

I Don't Let Anyone I Date Meet My Parents. That's Not a Red Flag. I Have a Very Good Reason Why.

Some individuals avoid introducing partners to difficult family members to protect them from negative experiences.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
6 days ago

Did My Mom Really Love One of Us More Than the Other?

The favored child dynamic shifted dramatically during adolescence, leading to feelings of rebellion and alienation.
Women in technology
fromScary Mommy
2 days ago

Study Finds Men Who Want #TradWives Also Have High Levels Of "Hostile Sexism"

The #tradwife movement is supported by men with hostile sexism, who view women negatively and expect traditional homemaking roles.
OMG science
fromNature
6 days ago

Daily briefing: Are boys really in crisis? What the science says

Concerns about boys should be viewed in the broader context of all young people.
NYC parents
fromBig Think
5 days ago

The quiet disappearance of the free-range childhood

Child protective services investigated a couple after their son rode his scooter to a nearby playground alone, leading to a finding of neglect.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
9 hours ago

Nobody teaches children how to know their own worth - we teach them to perform, to achieve, and to behave, and then wonder why so many adults reach fifty still measuring themselves against someone else's ruler - Silicon Canals

Self-worth is inherent and not based on achievements or external validation.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

There's a generation of men who were taught that providing was the same as loving. And there's a generation of their children who spent years in therapy learning that those aren't the same thing, only to reach an age where they finally understand that for their fathers, inside the architecture they were given, it was. - Silicon Canals

Emotional estrangement between fathers and children stems from generational differences in expressing love and vulnerability.
Mental health
fromIndependent
1 day ago

Asking for a friend: 'My son has just been diagnosed with autism and ADHD. My husband also got tested and has ADHD. How will all this affect our relationship?'

Navigating the challenges of neurodiversity in a family can be overwhelming, especially with multiple diagnoses affecting communication and relationships.
#parenthood
Parenting
fromMail Online
6 days ago

Having children DOESN'T make you happy, study claims

Having children does not significantly increase happiness or life satisfaction, and may even decrease relationship satisfaction.
Parenting
fromMail Online
6 days ago

Having children DOESN'T make you happy, study claims

Having children does not significantly increase happiness or life satisfaction, and may even decrease relationship satisfaction.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
18 hours ago

People who clean before the cleaner arrives, apologize when someone bumps into them, and pre-explain before anyone has asked for a justification all grew up in homes where taking up space without earning it first was treated as an act of aggression. - Silicon Canals

Cleaning before the cleaner reflects a deeper issue of feeling unworthy of help without prior justification.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
9 hours ago

Coercive Control: How Predatory Parents Fracture Attachment

Coercive control weaponizes children against protective parents, causing deep psychological harm and undermining secure attachments essential for healthy development.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who drop their friends as soon as they get into a new relationship aren't choosing love over friendship - they're revealing that the friendships were always filling a need the relationship now fills, and the difference between a friend and a placeholder is something most people only discover when the relationship arrives and the friends quietly disappear - Silicon Canals

Friendships often fade when one partner enters a romantic relationship, revealing the superficial nature of some connections.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

Start Strong But Never Finish? 4 Causes and 4 Solutions

Starting strong and quitting is common due to tedium, poor planning, and discouragement; recognizing patterns and seeking support can help overcome this.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology suggests people who adopt their parents' bad traits as they get older aren't becoming their parents - they're reverting to the most deeply installed operating system they have, the one that was running before they were old enough to choose a different one, and stress, age, and the slow erosion of self-monitoring are simply the conditions under which it boots back up - Silicon Canals

Behavioral patterns from childhood can resurface under stress, revealing deep-rooted psychological templates formed from early experiences.
Philosophy
fromApaonline
6 days ago

Let Kids Be Kids? The Ethics of Maximizing Children's Talents

Children are increasingly pushed to maximize their athletic talent from a very young age, often at the expense of social and academic development.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
21 hours ago

The hardest part of growing up lower middle class wasn't the lack of money. It was learning to want things quietly, because visible desire in a household running on tight margins felt like an accusation against the people who were already giving everything they had. - Silicon Canals

Emotional training around scarcity shapes behavior in lower middle class childhoods, teaching children to suppress desires to avoid adding stress to their families.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
6 days ago

The Day I Realized My Son Wasn't Defiant, He Was Ashamed

Understanding a child's emotional state is crucial; shame can manifest as feelings of worthlessness, impacting behavior and communication.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 73 and my husband asked me what makes me happy and I gave him the answer I thought he wanted to hear - our kids, our grandkids, our home - but the real answer is I genuinely don't know anymore because I've spent forty years editing my joy to fit other people's expectations - Silicon Canals

Editing joy to fit others' expectations can lead to losing sight of what truly makes one happy.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who grew up poor and became successful often can't fully enjoy it - not because they're ungrateful, but because some part of them never stopped waiting for it to disappear - Silicon Canals

Successful individuals often struggle with feelings of scarcity and anxiety about their financial stability, despite their achievements.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

Two Signs You're Raising a Hyper-Sensitive Child

Parenting requires understanding and support for emotionally sensitive children who may react more intensely to situations than their peers.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago

What Estranged Parents Wish Others Understood

Estrangement from adult children creates a unique, unresolved grief for parents, marked by ambiguity and a lack of social recognition.
#emotional-unavailability
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago
Relationships

Most people don't realize that children who grow up without affection don't struggle with love as adults. They struggle with trusting it, because it never felt safe to depend on - Silicon Canals

Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago

Psychology says parents who provided everything materially and nothing emotionally aren't cold - they were loved the same way and genuinely had no idea there was another option - Silicon Canals

Emotionally unavailable parents often substitute material provision and gifts for emotional presence, translating affection into the only language they fluently speak.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Most people don't realize that children who grow up without affection don't struggle with love as adults. They struggle with trusting it, because it never felt safe to depend on - Silicon Canals

Emotional unavailability stems from a lack of early affection, leading to difficulties in accepting love despite an inherent capacity for it.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago

Psychology says parents who provided everything materially and nothing emotionally aren't cold - they were loved the same way and genuinely had no idea there was another option - Silicon Canals

Emotionally unavailable parents often substitute material provision and gifts for emotional presence, translating affection into the only language they fluently speak.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

9 subtle behaviors that reveal someone grew up in a household where money was discussed in whispers, and why those behaviors persist long after financial security has arrived - Silicon Canals

Financial behaviors are shaped by early experiences and trauma, not just knowledge or information gaps about money.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Children raised in the 1960s and 70s developed their resilience the same way muscle develops under resistance - not by being protected from the load but by being required to carry it, repeatedly, without assistance, until the carrying became the unremarkable default rather than the exceptional achievement - Silicon Canals

Independence and resilience were fostered in children of the '60s and '70s through unstructured play and learning from failure.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
6 days ago

I grew up with a mother who was physically there but emotionally unreachable - and the confusion that produced, the child's inability to grieve a parent who is standing right in front of them, is the thing I have spent the most years in therapy trying to untangle and the thing I understood least for the longest - Silicon Canals

Emotional absence from a present parent can lead to profound feelings of unworthiness in a child.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Children who were praised for being smart rather than for working hard often become adults who avoid challenges - not from laziness but from a deep fear of being found ordinary - Silicon Canals

Praising children for being 'smart' can hinder their growth mindset and willingness to take risks.
Parenting
fromFast Company
2 days ago

Parents: A valuable source of AI intelligence

AI-assisted parenting tools are being developed by parents who understand the real challenges of childcare.
#child-development
Parenting
fromScary Mommy
3 days ago

Is Your Kid's Friend A Good Influence? Experts Share 6 Green Flags

Positive friendships build confidence and happiness in children, providing essential support throughout their development.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

People who were labeled 'the easy child' often became adults who confuse having no needs with being low maintenance, and the difference between those two things is about thirty years of unasked questions - Silicon Canals

Easy children often grow into adults who suppress their needs, leading to quiet suffering despite appearing content.
Parenting
fromScary Mommy
3 days ago

Is Your Kid's Friend A Good Influence? Experts Share 6 Green Flags

Positive friendships build confidence and happiness in children, providing essential support throughout their development.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

People who were labeled 'the easy child' often became adults who confuse having no needs with being low maintenance, and the difference between those two things is about thirty years of unasked questions - Silicon Canals

Easy children often grow into adults who suppress their needs, leading to quiet suffering despite appearing content.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

The people who say 'I'm fine with whatever you want to do' in every social situation aren't easygoing. They've simply never been in an environment where stating a preference didn't start a negotiation they couldn't afford to lose. - Silicon Canals

People who appear easygoing may actually be practicing conflict avoidance as a survival strategy learned from past experiences.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

The most painful thing about watching a parent age isn't the physical decline. It's the moment you catch them deferring to you on a decision they would have made without hesitation ten years ago, and you both feel the transfer of authority that neither of you agreed to. - Silicon Canals

The real challenge of aging parents lies in the subtle shifts of authority and uncertainty in their decision-making.
fromSlate Magazine
3 days ago

An Acclaimed Scientist Brought Attachment Theory to the Masses-and the Masses Completely Misunderstood It. His New Book Sets the Record Straight.

"Attached explains the basics of adult attachment theory, the psychological principle that categorizes people into four categories based on the way they relate to others."
Psychology
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

Can Breastfeeding Reduce the Risk for Postpartum Depression?

Postpartum depression and breastfeeding have a complex relationship, with unmet breastfeeding expectations increasing the risk of maternal depression.
Relationships
fromSlate Magazine
2 weeks ago

My Needy Aunt Is Back in My Life. Now She's Got Her Eyes on My Daughter.

Navigating family relationships can be challenging, especially when expectations and memories differ between generations.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
4 days ago

6 Types of Leadership and Parenting Styles: What's Yours?

Leadership styles in work and parenting vary, with a balanced approach being the most effective for clear expectations and support.
fromBuzzFeed
2 months ago

People Are Sharing The Telling Signs That Indicate "Trashy Parenting," And Yikes

Parents who shove tablets or phones in their kids' faces. Kids nowadays need to learn how to entertain themselves and regulate their emotions rather than mindlessly scroll at 2 years old. I personally think parents who do this are taking the lazy way out and are just allowing the tablet to parent for them; there is no discussion or creativity taking place. When I was a kid, I always had books, coloring books, sudoku, crosswords, and word searches with me everywhere I went as entertainment, and I think these options are a better alternative.
Public health
#parental-burnout
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago

Parental Burnout Is a Social Problem, Not a Personal Failure

Parental burnout has reached unprecedented levels, with over 40% of parents feeling exhausted and overwhelmed daily.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 weeks ago

Modern Parenting Feels Like Too Much

Modern parenting burnout stems from structural societal changes and impossible expectations, not individual parental failure, requiring honest assessment of personal limits without traditional support systems.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago

Parental Burnout Is a Social Problem, Not a Personal Failure

Parental burnout has reached unprecedented levels, with over 40% of parents feeling exhausted and overwhelmed daily.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 weeks ago

Modern Parenting Feels Like Too Much

Modern parenting burnout stems from structural societal changes and impossible expectations, not individual parental failure, requiring honest assessment of personal limits without traditional support systems.
Parenting
fromLGBTQ Nation
6 days ago

Adoption is a beautiful way to build a family. But it's not one-size-fits-all. - LGBTQ Nation

Adoption has various paths, each with unique processes, costs, and timelines, requiring thorough understanding before proceeding.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 week ago

The Ecology of Motherhood

Motherhood mirrors ecological resilience, requiring acceptance of transformation and recovery through challenges akin to natural processes like fire and regeneration.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
4 weeks ago

A Family Science Approach to Parenting

Modern parenting culture emphasizes achievement and comparison, creating emotional communication challenges that stem from broader social patterns of productivity and performance expectations.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

7 behavioral patterns people display when they were raised by a parent who loved them deeply but had no idea how to express it without criticism - Silicon Canals

Critical parents can love deeply yet struggle to express it without criticism, leading to complex emotional patterns in their children.
Mental health
fromBuzzFeed
2 months ago

People Are Sharing The Common Parenting Styles That Can "Ruin A Child's Future"

Support neurodivergent children by teaching coping skills and boundaries rather than infantilizing them or forcing conformity to appear 'normal'.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
3 weeks ago

Loving Your Child and Grieving Your Genetics are Separate

Grief over genetic loss and love for a donor-conceived child are separate emotions that can coexist without affecting parental bonding.
Mental health
fromHuffPost
2 months ago

The 1 Grandparent Who Has The Biggest Impact On Kids

Investment from maternal grandmothers protects grandchildren from negative emotional and behavioral effects of multiple adverse early-life experiences.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago

I asked 11 parents what their biggest parenting regret is and every single one described something they said rather than something they did - and the consistency of that pattern suggests that children's ears are more precise instruments than parents realize - Silicon Canals

Parents' spoken words create lasting regrets more than their actions, with negative statements profoundly shaping children's self-perception and identity development.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
1 month ago

Why Normal Isn't What You Think It Is

Normality is a statistical description of variation, not an ideal or moral standard; diagnoses use population data to identify typical ranges.
fromenglish.elpais.com
1 month ago

I don't like my mother': Why do children decide to distance themselves from their parents?

Parents hold a key that grants access to areas of their child's life that no one else can enter a foundational intimacy. However, more and more people are choosing to sever that bond and throw the key away. It's difficult to quantify how many children have decided to stop speaking to their parents, although some studies point to a steady increase in recent years.
Relationships
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
3 weeks ago

There's No Such Thing as a Child Expert

No true parenting or child experts exist because children are unique, fallible, and inconsistent individuals; expertise in parenting strategies does not equate to understanding your specific child better than you do.
fromSlate Magazine
4 weeks ago

My Boyfriend Is Very Wrong About What Makes Someone a Good Parent. I'm Not Sure I Can Marry Him.

He admires 'tiger parents.' He talks a lot about how the ideal parent is a strict disciplinarian, academically oriented, and pushes kids hard to set them up for future success. He thinks his teachers and his mom let him coast on his ADHD diagnosis, and vows that his kids will not 'get exceptions.' He thinks he would be more successful now if he'd had consistent parental pressure.
Parenting
fromThe Atlantic
2 months ago

The Father-Daughter Divide

Growing up, Melissa Shultz sometimes felt like she had two fathers. One version of her dad, she told me, was playful and quick to laugh. He was a compelling storyteller who helped shape her career as a writer, and he gave great bear hugs. He often bought her small gifts: a pink "princess" phone when she was a teen, toys for her sons when she became a mom.
Relationships
Parenting
fromBuzzFeed
1 month ago

16 Parents Confess The Brutally Honest Reasons Why They Regret Having Kids, And It's Important

A woman who had a child due to cultural pressure rather than personal desire experiences parenting as responsibility without maternal fulfillment, and would choose not to have children if given the choice.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

Why Children Seem to Have a Favorite Parent

Children's preference for one parent reflects attachment biology and caregiving responsiveness, not parental favoritism or lack of love.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

Parenting and Unconditional Love

Love a child unconditionally, even during their worst moments, while balancing safety and boundaries when serious mental illness affects behavior.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 month ago

People who grew up exceptionally independent usually had parents who did these 7 counterintuitive things - Silicon Canals

Hands-off parenting that allowed mistakes and responsibilities fostered lasting independence, self-reliance, and resilience in adulthood.
Parenting
fromBuzzFeed
2 months ago

18 Parenting Norms From Other Countries That Most Americans Don't Pactice

Parenting practices vary widely worldwide—mealtime norms, stranger interactions with infants, and school food and manners differ significantly across cultures.
fromSlate Magazine
2 months ago

My Son's School Is Treating Him Like He's Poor

We are a white, well-off (not extremely wealthy, but doing fine) family living in a mid- to lower-income neighborhood in a major coastal city. Our first grader goes to a Title I public school and a well-known, national non-profit (we'll call it "the ABC program") runs the school care. Our youngest will start kindergarten this fall. I grew up in a wealthy suburb with very minimal diversity of any kind, and I really appreciate that my children are growing up in a more diverse environment.
Parenting
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
1 month ago

My Friends Are Obsessed With Showing Their Love for Their Daughter in a Particular Way. It Makes It Hard on the Rest of Us.

Give focused time and shared experiences instead of more toys; attention and activities create meaningful memories and avoid adding clutter.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

Is Having Only One Child Selfish?

Parents who choose to have only one child often face a "selfish" stigma despite making sacrifices and balancing parenting, careers, and personal happiness.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 month ago

3 Things Parents Do to Lose Respect From Adult Children

Anxious overinvolvement—overthinking, over-reassurance, and unsolicited problem-solving—erodes respect and makes adult children feel pressured.
Parenting
fromwww.theguardian.com
2 months ago

The rise of Fafo parenting: is this the end of gentle child rearing?

Fafo parenting—"fuck around and find out"—is rising as a backlash to gentle parenting, emphasizing consequences, tougher discipline, and independence through discomfort.
fromSlate Magazine
2 months ago

I Thought We'd Reached the Easy Stage of Parenting. Now My Wife Wants to Risk It All.

My wife and I have two kids, boys aged 4 and 6. I'm very happy with our family as it is. The kids are both out of diapers and in school all day. They're sleeping, we're sleeping. I feel like we've got a handle on this thing. But now my wife is saying she wants another one. She's 40, I'm 45-it's not totally out of the realm of possibility that we could have another one.
Parenting
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