"Psychologists call moments like these flashbulb memories: vivid, snapshot-like recollections of emotionally charged events etched in our minds. Looking back, it makes sense that the memory carried almost a romantic charge. Neuroscience shows that falling in love activates the brain's reward circuitry, flooding it with dopamine and oxytocin. Similar chemicals are released when new devices captivate us, both through the bond we form with the product itself and through the connections it facilitates with others."
"Years later, when I bought my first iPhone, it felt like stepping into the future. Sleek, minimalist, impossibly futuristic-like the black monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Each new version made it harder to put down, weaving itself more tightly into the fabric of my daily life. A turning point occurred when I noticed how my toddler grew upset each time I reached for my phone, and when my 7-month-old lifted it, mimicked texting, and gave me an eerie little smile."
New devices activate the brain's reward circuitry, releasing dopamine and oxytocin and creating strong, bonding attachments to products and the connections they enable. Apps are designed to mimic microbursts of bonding—likes, hearts, and pings produce intimate-feeling signals that encourage repeated checking. Real love involves care and responsibility rather than fleeting chemical highs. Phone use can erode presence and steal time from children as habitual reaching, swiping, and checking interrupts caregiving. Doomscrolling and compulsive phone habits are engineered features of product design rather than individual moral failings. Naming the problem is the first step. Two brief tools can translate awareness into better phone habits.
Read at Psychology Today
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