"Bobby takes Jennifer back to being 19, in his first serious relationship, when sex felt inevitable until it wasn't. He describes the confusion of not understanding what was happening, the pain, the panic, and how Ireland's patchy sex education and constant media messaging left him thinking it should be instant, easy, and effortless. Instead, he spiralled into silence, avoidance, and the kind of secrecy that only grows heavier with time."
"He shares how it impacted intimacy and relationships, the guilt that kept him quiet, and the moment everything shifted when he met his now wife, Fiona. For the first time, he told someone and discovered it wasn't a personal failing, but a medical issue that could be treated. From getting a diagnosis and surgery, to the reality of performance anxiety and needing Viagra, Bobby is honest about the messy, non-linear path of rebuilding confidence and finding a new definition of sex"
Erectile dysfunction affects far more men than most people realise, yet it remains difficult to speak about. Bobby McQuaid experienced erectile dysfunction from age 19 during his first serious relationship, leading to confusion, pain, panic, and withdrawal. Ireland's limited sex education and media expectations made him believe sexual performance should be instant and effortless, increasing shame and secrecy. The condition damaged intimacy and relationships and caused persistent guilt until disclosure to his now wife revealed it was a treatable medical issue. Diagnosis, surgery, performance anxiety, and use of Viagra formed a nonlinear recovery toward rebuilt confidence and a broader definition of sex beyond penetration.
Read at Irish Independent
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