"Upsetting questions and unsolicited advice can feel terrible but it is even worse when you are caught off guard. When you are not prepared, you are more likely to say things you may regret, get angry at the person who is asking, or shift into a bad mood for the rest of the evening. Preparing won't change other people, but it can lower your chance of being shocked, disappointed, or angry."
"If you are not sure how you feel, or where you will be in your treatment during the holidays, you can say something like, "The truth is I just don't know how I will feel when I ... so I certainly don't expect you to know." "So why don't we make an agreement, when I have something to share, I will tell you. Otherwise, let's talk about other things like movies we are watching or new recipes.""
The holidays often intensify infertility-related distress through personal, social, and family stressors. Focus on family, traditions, routine changes, and increased social contact can magnify feelings of loss and sadness. Upsetting questions and unsolicited advice feel worse when people are caught off guard; preparing responses reduces shock, regret, anger, and prolonged bad moods. Couples who plan ahead are more likely to respond similarly and feel empowered together. Setting boundaries about disclosure and offering alternatives for conversation can ease interactions. Managing out-of-control feelings and treating infertility as the couple’s shared problem helps coping and preserves connection during the holidays.
Read at Psychology Today
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