"You've just had a crummy day, and you wish you hadn't. Your first instinct is to pick up the phone, call your best friend, and complain. But you also know deep down that you want to be more positive. You know that complaining emphasizes the negative in your life, and you'd like to create a shift for yourself. You recall that you started a gratitude journal, and when you use it, you find you really enjoy noticing the good things more than the bad."
"Current science says that while it's fine to call your friend for support, if you only harp on the negatives, failing to rethink your own cognitive distortions, you'll probably just continue to feel bad. Though a great friend can help you co-regulate, and you'll feel better after gaining perspective and support, if you're not met with the compassion you desire, you might end up dysregulated instead, which means you'll feel worse."
Humans possess a negativity bias that makes them focus on negative events after a bad day. Complaining to friends can provide co-regulation and perspective but may reinforce negative focus or cause dysregulation if compassion is lacking. Adopting an experimental mindset helps identify what increases positivity. Gratitude journaling, especially when practicing savoring, trains attention toward positive elements and enhances outlook and resilience. Gratitude journaling complements but does not replace cognitive-behavioral work or therapy aimed at disputing irrational beliefs. Consistent noticing of what works well supports motivation and can encourage increased engagement in positive habits and adaptive coping.
Read at Psychology Today
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