"If you are in a serious relationship with someone you love who has borderline personality disorder, you were probably quite happy when they agreed to go to treatment. But sometimes people become worried: What if my partner changes with therapy and no longer loves me the way she or he did before? What if they were only with me because they needed me for security and because they were afraid to be alone?"
"The truth: Love changes as we change. The good news is that as people get psychologically healthier, they start to express their love in new and healthier ways. This means that unless you've mistreated your partner with borderline personality disorder-and 'healthier' means leaving you-they're unlikely to no longer want to be with you. Instead, they will start to treat you better"
Partners often feel relieved when a loved one with borderline personality disorder begins treatment, yet fear that therapy will change emotional attachments. In many cases, therapy reduces emotional reactivity, improves coping skills, stabilizes mood, and lessens fear of abandonment. As psychological health improves, expressions of love shift toward calmer, more secure, and less demanding behaviors. Unless the partner was mistreated or abandoned, desire to remain together typically persists while interactions become gentler and more stable. Relationship drama tends to decrease and daily life becomes calmer as therapy progresses and internal security strengthens.
Read at Psychology Today
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