"In a sense, we are all time travelers drifting through our memories, returning to the places where we once lived." ~Vladimir Nabokov I found it by accident, a grainy image of my childhood bedroom wallpaper. It was tucked in the blurry background of a photo in an old family album, a detail I'd never noticed until that day. White background.
You can't control what other people say or do, but you can control your responses and how you carry yourself in stressful circumstances. A friend or family member may say something you disagree with, and your first impulse might be to persuade, convince, or argue with them. Such disagreements are common forms of family conflict that often arise for many during the holidays.
I sat in my therapist's office and said the words out loud for the first time: "That lightning isn't there." I was talking about Vanessa. About how when she touched me there was this comfort and calm I hadn't felt before. It lingered. It confused the hell out of me. Every relationship before her? Lightning. That activated, can't-eat-can't-sleep, my-stomach-is-in-knots feeling. The kind of intensity that made me feel alive. The kind I thought was proof we were meant to be.
Writing your thoughts down can help you gain some space from them, greatly reducing their emotional charge. You can notice what is actually going on in your mind and use this information to make concrete goals that will ultimately lead to more happiness. When you write a thought, ask yourself, "What is the need I am really feeling here? What am I wanting more of?"
Misophonia is an intricate condition characterized by an intense emotional and physiological fight-flight-freeze response to specific auditory or visual triggers. Crucially, it is understood as a primary neurophysiological disorder, not a phobia or a fear-based condition, a distinction that fundamentally dictates the appropriate therapeutic approach. Treatment must therefore focus on surrounding the moment of distress and adapting to the complex emotions and behaviors that arise, rather than targeting the trigger itself.
A few weeks ago, a viral tweet perfectly captured a phenomenon familiar to many of us. The post ― a response to someone's question "what's your biggest ick about yourself?" ― read simply: "i can be really mean when i'm overstimulated." Judging by the retweets, it seems 55,000 people could relate. If you've ever snapped at your partner after a bad day, or had an outburst during a frustrating call with a customer service agent, you may understand the meaning behind the tweet. We're not exactly at our best in moments like these, but they're part of the human response to being overstimulated.
Yet emotions are the most vital signals our bodies send us, and the most vital information about our lives. What a juxtaposition. If we listen carefully, they can tell us exactly what our problems are and what the solutions can be. I believe that therapists would be in much lower demand if humans had higher emotional access, acumen, skills, and expression-better awareness and understanding, especially with vulnerable emotions in general.
Some people have an uncomfortable work environment because their coworkers treat them poorly, and even worse, some of these people disturb themselves about it. To address this problem, first apply the Problem Separation Technique (PST). Ask yourself, do I have a practical problem, and if I do, am I creating an emotional problem about my practical problem? The Practical Problem If you are disliked at work, this may present a Practical Problem: Ask yourself these questions: 1. What are my goals each day at the office?
For most teenagers, stress is part of daily life. Poor grades, awkward encounters with friends, or being anxious about the future can all trigger worry. These stress-inducers are occasional. But when the stress is tied to family, it feels personal. It lingers after the school day ends, seeps into late-night hours, and becomes impossible to escape. Imagine a teenager seated at their desk trying to focus on homework while raised voices are heard from the next room.
You may be familiar with a particular feeling because you were exposed to it often while you were growing up. Maybe you were raised by an anxious parent who constantly warned you about the potential dangers that surrounded you. You may find yourself constantly bracing for something to go wrong or perseverating about the future and things that haven't even happened yet. That might mean you're habituating to worry and fear.
In psychology, this is called experiential avoidance. Trouble is, this experiential avoidance may seem helpful in the moment, but research shows that continuous avoidance of uncomfortable or upsetting thoughts can actually increase our anxiety and distress. Indeed, Dr. Russ Harris outlined in his book The Happiness Trap that experiential avoidance contributes to anxiety, depression, and numerous other mental health challenges; the harder one tries to avoid the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, the "more bad feelings we create."
Self-soothing advice is all over the internet, much of it in the form of warnings to avoid potentially damaging sorts like "shopping therapy" or bingeing on Ben and Jerry's, or worse, vodka martinis. Instead, experts suggest using the "good" ones, which seem to run the gamut from stimulating your vagus nerve to hugging yourself. Among the University of Miami's recommendations to faculty and staff in their current summer newsletter is "tapping."
I have always thought the phrase "Hire a teenager while they still know everything" was a very clever sentence. It works on the premise that teens think they always know best and, therefore, think they "know everything." It may be funny, yet it belies a real truth, which is that teens often act as if they know more than they do. Think about the last time you tried to instruct an adolescent about something.
What exactly constitutes a meltdown? As Lorain Moorehead, an individual and family therapist, explains, a meltdown is, on some level, a child's expression of their opinion or preference. "Their body is dysregulated either because of their real or perceived need not being met, and they are communicating it with the tools they have available in the moment, which in the case of a meltdown might be tears, volume, or other means to return to a state of control," she says.
Athletes train their minds for focus, emotional regulation, resilience. In-house lawyers can similarly benefit from mental performance training to enhance their high-stakes decision-making.
