I research self-regulation for a living. As a parent, it can be hard to follow my own advice.

"As someone who researches self-regulation for a living, it's a little ironic to admit that I can really struggle with regulating my emotions as a parent. Over the past few months, I've been writing a book about improving young children's self-regulation. I've read through a ton of research, written many chapters, and published papers on this very topic, but when my 3-year-old purposely dumps water on the floor, my initial response is to yell."

"Clinically speaking, self-regulation is the ability to regulate your behaviors and emotions, which can include quickly shifting your attention away from what you are doing to another task (cooking dinner and managing your toddler's behavior) as well as trying to suppress an action that you know is inappropriate (harsh tones or yelling) and replacing it with a better action (calmly talking)."

Parents' emotional regulation plays a crucial role in children's development of self-regulation. Even individuals with deep expertise can struggle to manage emotions when faced with common parenting stressors like a toddler intentionally making a mess. Self-regulation involves controlling behaviors and emotions, shifting attention between competing tasks, and suppressing inappropriate responses in favor of calmer actions. Increasing family size and competing caregiving demands intensify attention shifts and raise regulatory challenges. Practical strategies such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, and cardiovascular exercise can improve parental emotional control. Improved parental regulation models adaptive responses and supports children's emerging self-regulation skills.

Read at Business Insider