Learning to Reveal Our Unlovable Parts

"The joke works because it's so recognizable: the effort of holding something in that feels unlovable, awkward, or inappropriate-yet is completely human. This post, you guessed it, uses flatulence as a gateway to something deeper: what's possible when we stop trying so hard to appear more put together. Because the real strain isn't the feelings (or gases) that move through us; it's what it costs us when we try to suppress them."

"But I also told him about the underbelly: sadness around women I connected with that didn't quite work out the way I'd hoped, and judgment about how I spent my time and energy in the paradox-of-choice of events like these. When Erik admitted he felt similar things, I saw the power of recognizing that an oxytocin-filled weekend could also be a place of sadness and anxiety: I felt less alone, and so did he."

People often intensify ordinary human feelings by scolding themselves for having them, which creates more suffering than the feelings themselves. Holding in awkward or unlovable sensations consumes energy and encourages inauthentic presentation. Recognizing that others share similar mix of connection, sadness, and anxiety reduces isolation and relieves self-judgment. Social environments like schools and workplaces teach impression management, which sands away grittier parts of experience in favor of perceived norms. Allowing natural responses without harsh self-criticism simplifies life and redirects attention toward meaningful priorities rather than continual management of appearance.

Read at Psychology Today